I Think I Can Turn Over a New Leaf

Feeling invigorated, I was on a new level with God. The zeal for prayer and fasting was activated and I felt the inspiration to do some things out of my norm.

I started 40 days of Prayer and Fasting for Direction, restoration, and for continuous zeal for God on Oct 1, 2013. Yes, I was tired of my weak emotions carrying me around on a leash. A few days in the 40 days fasting I realized I needed to cut off soul ties, I needed to be free." Light a fire and burn those personal items you collected as a symbol of faith" Huh? God, what? But I like this Shirt, I don't even wear that underpants anymore, do I really need to go through all this God? "Yes".

I found it strange but I followed. Did I feel total transformation right away? Nope, but each day I experienced healing in some form. My fairy tale dreams somehow got resurrected because even with all I faced, I still felt like I had the capacity to love someone.

2014 started with 40 days fast for Love. I really wanted to know the voice of God, to find the right mate, to increase my self-esteem, and to find the love of my life.

40 days turned to 61 days, then 61 days turned to 68 days turned to 70 days.

(I learned at age 29 that I had approached my prayers from the wrong angle..."find". I wanted to "find" and not be "found" and my mindset was aimed in the wrong direction).