Purpose Kicking in

Drained and no will to push, I received a form to apply to Church Summer Camp. I thought "fine I'll go" I have nothing left so I'll give it a try. I started to hear the experiences of others and my interest started to increase. I figured, if I'm going on a week away from everything and everyone to be with God, why not make the most of it.

I remembered sitting trying to think of what I wanted to take away from camp because I want to go with a goal. I desired to be baptized by the fire of the Holy Ghost. I kinda laughed at this because I was so broken, stained, and still hurting and it was not the first time I had this unsuccessful goal.

Night 1-I was enjoying the atmosphere I was in, no thoughts of my situation, no connection to the outside world!

Night 2- why am I even trying? Why is it when I'm trying to connect to God the "your worthless" thoughts come to dampen me?

Night 3-I'm reaching out to you God, why can't you touch me?

Night 4- I remembered crying my eyes out at the altar, broken and confused, I gave up trying to get God's attention I'm obviously too tainted by sin to be on his radar. I started to walk away defeated looking at others worshipping and being delivered. Something stopped me in my tracks, I can't explain, but I turned back and went to the altar, with a genuine heart, my tears interceded for me and there the embrace of the lord enveloped my body and heart.

I left Camp transformed, singing the theme "Anointed for a time as this". Ready to take over the world, take back my life, and open the window of sunshine on my future!!!!

Dear Joshua, this is where I purposed in my heart to be the woman you need. 5 men...Tainted, but I'm getting cleaned!!!

But you said 10 years and 10 guys... So what happened you might ask....life happened...