"Sweet Caramel Addiction"

Heartbreak was never new to me, I'd get hurt, I get up, cry, take a few weeks and the slate is wiped clean again. After all the guys deserved a clean slate of "trust" in an effort to hurt me.

Oh Yes, my toes were still very much in church, after all, I had an identity to uphold to the unsuspecting audience but I was still wearing my "I am tainted so what the heck" garment.

My door was open, wide open to every and anyone who would look my way. My heart grew fond of this cute caramel skin fellow. It felt like it could be something real and worth the investment. I felt secure in our friendship and the attraction between us was great but somehow I wanted more than just friendship. I wanted to be the girl of Mr.... oh sorry no names. I had to remain in the friend zone until he decides his mind.

Hurting people tend to hurt others, broken people will always see themselves as broken and of no use if they are not healed. I felt like I was on autopilot mode, just living in a cycle, sneaking, refusing to learn, letting my tainted emotions lead me on a leash, and falling in the same trap of the enemy.

I couldn't stop living in a state of low self-worth. I jumped fences, had near misses of getting caught, and disregarding the temple of God. Can I tell you I changed, where had my innocence gone? Not in a relationship but I satisfied with our little fling. My little fling got me tossed aside, not even got close to that awesome relationship I was hoping for.