Tell me it’s real!

Dear Joshua, November 17, 2015

How are you? I hope you are in a better state than I am. My confusion is “turnt” way up! My feelings have really intensified over the few weeks and have gotten even stronger over the months, after all, can you blame the way I was feeling? You are one exceptional man of valor, worth and power, I was comfortable around you, could be myself, you treated me well and was definitely a good substitute for a boyfriend.

Sigh, Joshua, I thought he was you, I thought he was the one, which was crazy because his heart belongs to another. Why do I keep doing this to myself? Letting the thoughts of others take my emotions on a roller-coaster ride? Where are you? Are you in the arms of another? Blinded by the illusion of love? I wonder.

Well, things got worse as the thoughts of you kept flooding my ears and my imagination. I found myself wishing and hoping that you and your girlfriend would break up and like a perfect movie; you would find me and utter the words I’ve been longing to hear.

But one day you were faced with the voices of many stating that you are with the wrong woman, hearing this I was so happy, yeah I know I should not have been but I couldn’t help it I felt like I was on my way to cloud nine. Ha, I didn’t even make it halfway to the cloud, you told me she is “the one no matter what others say”. Sigh I cried, I cried because I didn’t like your relationship, our friendship will stifle and die and I will still be lonely while watching the man I love who I stood by from day one, building and encouraging wrapped in the arms of another woman. It tore me to bits.

Signed: Miss Broken to bits